Fake Fall

So this actually happened while I was working as a cashier. I do was doing my normal thing when out of the corner of my eye I see a very pregnant woman in flip flops slowly sliding to the ground. Well I didn’t know what to think of it, kind of odd I thought to sit in the middle of a pretty crowded walk way. So I asked her “are you ok?” and she responded in a rather annoyed way, “I’m 9 months pregnant and I just slipped, what do you think?” So at this point I’m not sure what to do, but I go and get my supervisor, and by this point this woman is making a scene. So it is the supervisors job to keep the person under control until the manager can get there and have them fill out paperwork. So by this point it is pretty damn chaotic around my register. It was discovered that there was a long trail of water starting at one end of the front of the store and ending at another. Someone had had a bottle of water and had slowly emptied it while walking. Kind of odd. Well anyway I filled out an incident report and things settled down. I didn’t hear anything more about it for a while, until I got a call from someone at corporate. Apparently this woman had filed a suit. Well from my perspective of the fall, and the odd trail of water, I would say that maybe she needed some extra money for junior.

Dumb Blonde

This story begins on a typical Sunday afternoon. I encountered the stupidest person in the world. This girl was probably around 18 years old, fairly attractive, and blonde. She was returning some boots she purchased online, and didn’t have a receipt. Alright done with the basics on to the juice. So when someone doesn’t have a receipt for something that they bought online we have two options; do a receipt look up with their credit card, or have them print a receipt from one of our kiosk’s. Well wouldn’t you know it, the boots were on her mothers credit card; that option out the window. I also should probably mention that getting information out of this girl was like picking the fruit out of jello; time consuming and unpleasant. Ok, so now we move to the kiosk where I will help her print her receipt. I tell her follow me, and she takes that to mean “go ahead go do your shopping and come back assuming that I was able to print your receipt without having any of your information.” So finally she comes back, and gets in a huff that I wasn’t able to print the receipt. So I told her to go and do it herself, and she walked up to an ATM thinking that it is one of the kiosk’s. Pretty funny moment if I do say so myself. Well anyway long story short it took about 45 minutes for her to finally be able to print the damn thing, all the while she was whining about how hard her life is and how “things just never go right for her”. God I would kill for the worse thing to happen to me be not being able to return some damn boots.

Nerf Gun Debacle

This story is actually kind of sad. I was returning a nerf gun. It is toy gun that shoots soft nerf bullets. Well anywho she was there with her two kids, a 10 year old boy, and probably a 13 year old girl. We have been having issues with people returning empty boxes of these nerf guns, so I opened it and inside is legos. These legos aren’t loose; this woman actually taped them into the box to represent the gun. Now as if this isn’t classless enough, upon being confronted about the legos she begins to scream at her son. She is telling him how stupid he is, asking why he didn’t tell her that that’s how the box was when they bought it. She tells him how much he is embarrassing her. I felt incredibly sorry for both her son and her daughter. For this woman to react that way, she had to have been the one to do it. Well we didn’t do the return. And she ended up looking like a complete lunatic, another days work.

Woman who pretends not to speak English

The other day there was an Asian woman who was having problems with her store credit card. She came over to guest service and asked us to help her with her issue. The problem is that in store we have no access to any credit card information for security issues. As soon as we told her that she had to call the 1-800 number on the back of her card and talk to one of the credit representatives, she all of a sudden couldn’t speak English. It was like night and day. At first this was incredibly annoying, and then incredibly entertaining. Seeing my co-workers trying to reason with this woman who, we knew could understand them, but was pretending to be completely ignorant, was hilarious. They went so far as to find a team member who spoke her language to translate. The woman said that she couldn’t call because she doesn’t speak English. Long story short, we couldn’t help her, and she left looking like an lying idiot.

Returning condoms?

The title gives it away but leaves the best part out. Well, the story begins on a fairly slow Monday afternoon. A white man, average build in his mid thirties approaches the counter. He seems a bit nervous. He puts his bag on the counter takes a deep breath and takes out the item. Oh my gosh, it's condoms, Trojan Magnums to be exact. Well, anyone who knows anything about condoms knows that "Magnums" are meant for the larger sized man. When I saw this of course I stayed professional, so I asked him if there was anything wrong with the product. I don't even know why I asked. When people return them like that we can't put them back out on the shelf. He replies with probably the most funny return line I have ever heard...they were the wrong size. Now while I can't assume that they were too big, I will. At this point it is taking all of my energy not to laugh in this poor man's face. I waited until he left.

Crazy DVD Player Dude

This incident probably happened about a month ago. A skinny short white man came into the store and demanded that we give him his DVD player back. He had left it earlier after a return went bad. He said he had attempted to return the DVD player at 11. He had left to "get his receipt,". By this time is was 7 in the evening. Who leaves a DVD player that belongs to them at a store for 8 hours intentionally? Very fishy. On top of that he kept saying how he wasn't a "criminal". Who was calling him a criminal? Maybe the voice in his head. I of course made the mistake of saying, "Why did you leave it in the first place?" while the security guards were checking the tapes. This set him off. He was very fidigety to begin with but he started pacing, talking about how he knows someone who works for us and that he knows we can do the return. Well lo and behold when we got the confirmation that the DVD player was in fact his I couldn't do the return. He insisted that he knew better, still couldn't do it, he freaked out and left with the DVD player again in search of his receipt. All I have to say about this man is crack is whack.

Rude, rude, rude people

So today I was working doing my normal thing. A young blond girl, probably 18 or 19, comes up to the counter with a very bad attitude. I realize that when I say that I sound like a 65-year-old grandmother, but seriously, this girl was awful. The first thing she says when she walks up is, "You guys need to stop hiring stupid people." I don't know what she expected me to say, "Yes everyone who works here is a complete idiot, thank you for noticing"? What I actually did was take a moment to stop myself from slapping her, calm my voice, and say "Do you have a specific complaint about an individual?" She seemed flustered when I said this, probably because she didn't realize that I have a vocabulary. She responded with "her..." and pointed towards the front lanes, never really finishing her thought. I finished her return, and did not tell her to "have a good one". She didn't deserve it.